affirming friendship evaluation

This morning has started with two cups of coffee, office chit chat, my prince charming bringing me a breakfast sandwich (at the office - I'm spoiled rotten) and lots of Thunder wear. None of this has anything to do with this post but sounded like a good introduction. Let's get on with it shall we?

My friend Jodi and I are in tune this week even though we are a thousand miles away from each other. I wrote a post called "busy bees" on Monday, Jodi wrote a post titled "busy bees" on Monday. She wrote a post this morning about waiting for her to digest some stuff and that when she had done so, she'd have lots to blog about. I have been feeling that way all week. And what I've been mulling over (or chewing on, as she calls it) for the last 72 hours has to do with my friends (including Jodi - and now we've come full circle).

Monday night, I had girls bible study/book club and we talked about a chapter out of the book Captivating called "Mothers, Daughters, Sisters". Good chapter, good book. We talked about how imperative it was for women to have other female friends. We spent a lot of time talking about why it was necessary, what characteristics about females made it difficult and easy to have other female friends, etc., etc.
And then the leader of the study had us all start thinking about our friends. We were to think about our dearest, closest, most intimate friends. She wanted us to keep it to a limit of three so that we weren't completely overwhelming our little diagram she had printed out. Then we were supposed to think about our close friends, but not the ones you would call at 2:00 in the morning. These were the friends that you hung out with, that you liked, that you had a good time with, but you wouldn't necessarily spill the beans for every time you saw them. And then you got to throw your acquaintances on top. The nice thing about these groups was that they weren’t set in stone and that we all knew people moved in and out of the groups regularly. But I racked my brain the whole time trying to fit my female friends into those categories. I hated it. I hated categorizing people and evaluating relationships I had never really thought about before.

“I mean how close are we really…” ran through my head a few times along with “what if I put her in my intimate friends group but she doesn’t put me in hers?!”. I didn’t like the evaluation game and I didn’t like where some of my friends were realistically falling. Right towards the end of our discussion it occurred to me – this was not third grade and we were not on a playground deciding who got to wear the other part of our BFF necklaces. We were adults who had friends and it didn’t matter if someone I put in one category put me in theirs. They were still someone I considered myself to be close to and as much as I’d like to know where I would rank in everyone’s little diagrams, why did it matter?

That night one of the girls I had decided probably belonged in that intimate category and if she didn’t yet, I wanted her to, called me to check on me. She had also been in on this discussion and could tell I was having a rough week and that I hadn’t been myself. We talked for a bit on the phone and when I hung up, I made sure her name was in that “intimate friend” category. And then she sent me flowers the next day. I love that girl and she totally locked herself up in that title.

It’s amazing the friendships I have. One of the people I feel the most comfortable telling anything to lives 1,000 miles away and is the wife of one of my husband’s high school friends. One of the others are in my church class and even one is part of my family. One of them has nothing in common with me other than a previous job and I love that I have such a diverse set of friends and that I have people to fit into every category.

I also like a new set of friendships that is making its appearance lately due to some related hardships. I know that sounds like a cheesy support group and maybe that’s what it is but it’s working for me and I hope it’s working for them too.

I don’t know why this topic was such a hard one for me to digest this week. I’ve always had the friendships and I’ve always been grateful for them. I think the title and placement of those relationships was what was eye opening and thought provoking. It allowed me to decide if I liked who it was I was closest to and if those relationships needed to be re-evaluated. It helped me to determine who it was I would go to in a panic or with ridiculous news of nothing with importance. And there’s some comfort in knowing who those people are.

busy bees

This weekend was undoubtedly the most productive weekend Paul and I have ever had. Ever.

We went to Hobby Lobby, Home Depot (twice), Lowe's (twice) and Target (twice). Paul mowed the yard, trimmed down the insanely overgrown front bushes, weeded the front and side yard and organized the garage. He also started demolishing the treads and risers on the back steps that were rotting and need to be replaced. We put together a new media console for our front living room, moved the television and everything attached to the front room, we painted the living room end tables, painted the back of our front porch swing, hooked up a new outlet and switch for the dishwasher and disposal, made party decorations, attended a wedding, fixed the plaster under a window, hosted a poker night, watched a marathon (cheering on some friends) and painted our dining room.

I hope you skimmed over that last paragraph or you are probably bored out of your mind.

I am exhausted (as I am sure Paul is too) and am having a coke for breakfast. Mmmm, just the kind of week I am looking forward to!

Hope your weekend was productive, or maybe not.

Feliz cumpleaños madre!

It's my mom's birthday and to follow suit, here are some things I have learned from her so far.

a. how to spell exaggerate (with a hilarious mnemonic device that now seems very dirty)
b. how to be a woman leader in the church
c. how to shave my legs
d. how to be creative (you don't have to buy everything, you can make stuff)
e. that having less stuff can make your life bigger
f. that even an old barn looks good with a little paint on it (it's an inside joke about makeup)
g. how to throw awesome themed parties
h. that sometimes it's best to give everything you have until you can't give anymore and sometimes it's not.
i. that being realistic/practical is sometimes just as important as dreaming big
j. how to have confidence in myself and my abilities

Delicious Randomness

Well, fattening randomness but delicious all the same.

Paul was out of town for a conference Tuesday and Wednesday so I thought I’d eat my all-time favorite guilty pleasure for dinner Tuesday night.

A Braum’s cheeseburger with fries and a coke.

I mean, we are talking about the epitome of a perfect fast food trinity here.

Is it wrong to use the word “trinity” when referring to something so unhealthy and disgraceful when it is typically used for something incredibly holy? I hope not, because I just did it.

Well, where this story is really going is, I had another delicious “Braum’s trinity” last night for dinner and to top it off, a scoop of bright blue birthday cake flavored ice cream. As much as I haven’t been paying attention to health care reform and am really not largely in favor of how we are going about it, I think it might be a good idea now because I need to go have my body flushed to get rid of the insane amount of caloric intake I have had and if I could do it for as cheap as the hamburger dinner cost me, that would be GREAT.

Needless to say, today, I am disgusted with the way I fit into all of my clothes and have decided it’s time to get back on the wagon. I am not going on a diet because I hate the word. I’m just going to stop eating like I have two weeks to live. Although, the Art Festival is in full swing and Oklahoma City better watch out if I don’t get myself, at the least, a funnel cake. But after that, healthy wholesome eating, for real.

No pictures of the kitchen this post, or the last three for that matter. I should have pictures to share, but I have been so lazy about pulling them off of the camera. I want a camera that takes the photo, doesn’t bother storing it; it just sends it via Wi-Fi directly to my laptop. Yea, that would be great.

Last night, after my second indulgence, I stained a wooden step stool in our kitchen to match our kitchen cabinets and have another coat to apply tonight along with picking up the rug I want for the kitchen at the mall. We’ll also be watching some Thunder/Laker action in between touching up the crown molding and electrical work. Our kitchen is so close to being done I can almost taste it.

Oh! And remember how I was talking about the salt keeper I have wanted since forever ago when I found it in Kansas City with Paul?

Well, it showed up on my front door step last night. It is so pretty and you better believe it has already been filled with salt and waiting to be used. A gift from my book loving sister-in-law who is probably curious to know if I finished the book yet and the answer to that would be, not even close.

quiet your mind

Last night at church after our class had finished bible hour a few of the girls were talking about worrying. One of them had had an awful night of sleep and had been up half of the night worrying about anything that crossed her mind. I felt awful for her because I've been there and more recently than I would like to admit.

I'm not typically a worrier, I'm uptight, but everyday life doesn't make me worry. Events, new places, things like that tend to make me worry but for the most part, I don't worry about "everything".

I went through a phase right after Paul and I got married where I worried all the time that he was going to die. I made sure I told him every single time he got in a car without me to drive safely. Well I didn't just tell him, I pleaded with him. Every day he went to work before I left for class, I begged him to be cautious all day long. I was terrified something would happen to him. I would call him in the middle of the day and make sure he was still breathing normally. It was a bit much. I don't know why I stopped worrying about it but it sort of went away on it's own. I still want him to be careful and I would still hate it if something happened but the incessant fear has subsided (and thankfully, for both of us I am sure).

What I tend to worry about is the future. And I know what you're going to say, isn't that what all worry is based on? And I would agree with you to a point. But some people worry about things that aren't necessarily even going to happen. For example, my fear that Paul was going to die wasn't based on anything substantial and although there is a chance that it could happen, there is no way of knowing that it will. People worry about things that never materialize like what would happen if...you fill in the blank. It's a waste of worry. All worry is a waste but those things that are so vague are exhausting and wasteful of energy.

I worry about actual events, actual meetings, deadlines, encounters. Things I know that are going to happen, they are on my calendar, they are coming and I have to think about them all the time, every single detail to make sure I know what is going to happen. I am CONSTANTLY thinking in the future. What I am going to do or say in the next five minutes is all that seems to occupy my brain.

We're talking, I'm sitting at my desk working and I am thinking about what I am going to do in the break room fifteen minutes from now sort of thing. While I'm in the break room, I am thinking about my 2:00 meeting and what I am going to do or say during it. And you better believe during that 2:00 meeting I am thinking about what I am going to cook for dinner and what time Paul is going to get home. I never live in the present.

My mom read a book years ago, yes a "self-help" book about this kind of thing. It encouraged her to take five to ten minutes every day and to think about nothing, absolutely nothing except for what is happening right at that very moment. You are not supposed to think about writing a grocery list, or anything about the grocery store at all. You are to sit in a quiet room or space and think about the quiet, think about the chair you are sitting on, think about the bird you hear outside, but don't let your mind go to anything other than what is happening at the present moment. It is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. After I do it, I feel better, I realize that living in the present is healthy and that although having a plan is effective and good too, it can be too exhausting.

I tend to only think about the "in the moment" technique when I am a little beyond the point where I think it can help, when I am panicking the night before a meeting or deadline. But you really should try to do it sometime. Five minutes is not hard to find but you will be shocked at how difficult it is to stay on the topic of only the right then. You'll be amazed at what your brain will wonder off too and how quickly you will relate things you need to do to the most simple sounds or thoughts.

I may try to make it a goal to do every day for awhile (at least over the next month when everything is going to be so hectic). I'll let you know how it goes, or I'll forget entirely and you'll just always have to wonder.

can we make taking naps a law?!

Today I took a nap. I know, I know: Surprise, surprise.

A good nap. A nap that I started at 2:45 and I had planned to be up and moving again by 3:30 pm. I slept until 4:45 and I am not apologizing.

We (and by we I totally mean Paul) had just pulled the sheets off of the bed to throw them in the wash and I didn't want to take a nap on the mattress. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I've done it before, just didn't feel like it today.

So I grabbed a blanket and hit our couch.

I love our couch. It's comfy, but has a good shape and structure to it. It isn't poufy or slouchy (thank goodness) and looks great in our living room but I still enjoy sitting on it and laying on it. We rarely do either because our TV isn't in our front living room (that will not be the case for much longer).

So, like I said, we rarely sit on the couch. So why I was possessed to take a nap there instead of the bed (sheets or no sheets) or the futon is beyond me. Oh and it was such a good nap.

Paul was the one that woke me up and after doing so opened the front door to take a look outside. Our couch sits in the center of our living room and when the front door is open you can look right out into the yard and street. It had stopped raining but was still cool. I was so warm from being under the covers for the last two hours that I laid there and enjoyed the gray sky and chilly breeze sweeping in. Paul left me there like that for a bit, door open, zoned out on the couch.

Everything about my living room seemed perfect at that moment. I thought about the people that lived in this house 96 years ago and how on Sunday afternoon maybe one of them took a nap on their couch with the front door open enjoying the perfect weather. No television, just enjoying that moment, not thinking about what they needed to do or had done, just what was happening right then, right there. I looked around the room at all of the woodwork and the windows and I thought about how cool of a house we have. Not because of anything we have done or have but because of how incredibly talented people were a hundred years ago. I could have laid there all afternoon, hours worth enjoying the chill and the craftsmanship but I had to get up and get moving.

Something seemed so right about my nap on the couch and how I woke up. When I sleep in my bedroom and the TV is the first thing I see after I groggily wake up, I'm never in a good mood. Maybe the living room, couch and open door combination is something that I need to insist happen more often.

loving me some Houzz

I have, apparently, been living under a very large rock.

Please dont ask me how I didn't know about this website before today because I honestly couldn't tell you.

There are thousands of images, good and large images, of every possible room you could want, fully designed and ready to inspire.

With the amount of time I spend on the internet and my mad google skills (is there really such a thing?) with design related images and information, I am not quite sure how I missed this.

If you're about to take on a project and need some inspiration, welcome to the world of design image crack. I am already a little obsessed.

i have a thing for good fabric...

I bought a few yards of this Sunbrella fabric almost four years ago when I worked at a local bolt store part time. I loved the colors and always had big dreams to do something really cool with it in my backyard. So I put it in my fabric tub for another day and forgot about it.

It sat in that fabric tub until we went to the Dominican. One of the outdoor restaurants/bars at our resort used this fabric as the upholstery on all of their large scale booths and as the accent pillows on the sofas down the veranda (paired with linen colored cushions and espresso wicker furniture - it looked good).  I got so excited about how great it looked (every single time we ate at or walked by the restaurant) that as soon as I got home, I pulled it out of the tub and went to work.

Slowly, went to work that is as real work and other things like the kitchen got in the way. But I made a couple of pillow covers for our front porch swing and am about to tackle cushion covers for the dining chairs we have in the back yard. Lucky for us the fabric looks really great with our umbrella and looks good with the blue of the house (nothing looks good with the green on the house and that's why it's got to go).

So if you're in the market for a good outdoor fabric, Brannon Whisper is a good way to go. I can't find it locally anymore but you can find it here, here or here.

I'm excited for summer this year. Well I am right now. As soon as it hits 108 degrees, I'll be crying for fall but with everything turning green, new flower pots just waiting to be filled and new pillows waiting to be used outside with a good book, I can hardly wait!

Salt = comes to us from Latin sal, which evolved into French sel, Italian sale, Spanish sal, and Romanian sare...

My current read is Salt.

I know what you are thinking, I'm joking right? Right before we left for our last trip, we made a quick stop at the B&N to snag something for me to read by the pool. Paul picked it up as a joke, teasing me about all of the salt I eat, but after I saw the quote on the front of the book from Anthony Bourdain (actually not shown on the book cover to the left), I knew it could actually be quite good.

My sister-in-law, the one that loves to read, and I were talking about how commodity history has really taken off in the book market lately. People love to know about their stuff. Where it came from, who had it first, who took it from who and what part it played in the history of the world. That's what this book does. It's a Tulipomania (which was also a great commodity book), but for salt.

It's fascinating what you can learn about something you don't even think twice about. I had never pondered where salt came from or why we have so much of it, why it was even called "salt", and what it would be like to live without it. I also forget that it's technically a rock, the only rock that can be consumed.

Paul wasn't really joking when he was talking about how much salt I eat. I love the stuff. In fact we currently have five different types of salt in our kitchen and I'd have more if I had somewhere to put it. I've been eyeing this for quite some time and am just holding out for a birthday or a gift receiving event because really, do I need to spend fifty bucks on something that the current salt box is already doing? And who am I kidding, if a big event comes up and I get a salt box, would I really be as thrilled as I would be if I had gotten jewelry? 

And, for my sister-in-law who has probably not gotten over the fact that I am still reading this one book when she has probably put away 15-20, we have cable television and lots of things to do around the house. I'm chipping away at it though, so stop with the judging.
 

Emily is making a difference - help her out!

Do me a favor and check out Emily's blog, please and thank you.

We go to church together and she is so incredibly funny and deserves tons of readers anyways but the real reason I'm sending you over there today is because of her post about making a difference. BlogHer and KFC have teamed up in order to make a donation to the Susan G. Komen foundation and for every comment she gets on her post about what people are doing to help make a difference, they will donate a dollar to the cause.

Her aunt has breast cancer and is fighting to be a survivor. How amazing are people that survive? And how amazing is it that in such a short period of time, technology and research have come so far to help them?!

My dad's mom died from having breast cancer when he was in elementary school (in the 60's) and I wonder how much easier it would have been for her to fight and possibly beat the cancer if they knew then what we know now (more on that whole situation to come later). It's all because people haved worked hard (and donated a lot) to help make it easier.

Also, since I've been working on OU's Cancer Institute, I am fascinated by what I have had to learn about modern medicine. Do you even have a clue how fascinating cancer treatment is?!

Really, go read her post and leave a comment. Oh, and buy a pink bucket of KFC. How hard is that?

mossy monograms

I've always liked moss covered accessories. Accent balls, floral arrangements, topiary pieces and lately, monograms seem to make me smile. I decided Thursday that I wanted a moss covered "R" for our front door for a party we're going to have soon. It would fit the theme nicely. So I got online and did some searching and found multiple places that sold them including a number of sellers on Etsy (like the one seen below).

After looking at quite a few plant covered wood pieces, I decided I could make one. It couldn't be that hard. A wooden letter, some moss, a hot glue gun and ribbon.

I was right, it wasn't that hard. I got the moss, ribbon and letter at Hobby Lobby on my lunch hour and used my trusty hot glue gun to put it all together. I spent $8.00 on the project and for the same sized letter from the cheapest Etsy shop I could find, I would have spent $25.00 plus shipping.

I saved $17.00 on something that I would have bought just for ease. And that would have been an awful reason to buy it too since it was one of the easiest projects I've ever made. It was definitely not hard enough to have to pay someone else to do it for me.

Saving the 17 bucks made me feel good as I ate out for all three meals on Thursday (please understand that was said with shame) and I dropped quite a few hundred on a slab of marble that morning too. I like saying that. I bought a slab of marble.

Side note: This also qualifies for number 93! Slowly chipping away at that one!

Oh yes, yes I did...

My OCD tendencies took over today, never mind the fact that the labels are kind of crooked.

Can you tell?

I have always hated unorganized spice drawers. How is it that something that smells so good is always so disorderly and junky? None of the bottles match, even when I buy matching bottles. I also seem to always buy something I don't need because they aren't in alphabetical order and I don't take enough time to read every single bottle.

Not anymore. I bought these bottles for a dollar a piece at Bed Bath and Beyond and got myself some order. Turns out they fit 10 per row perfectly, which also makes me happy, because I hate it when they roll around in the drawer.

And then I found some free printable labels from Giver's Log, adjusted the colors in Photoshop so that they would fit our kitchen's new theme a little more appropriately, printed them off, and labeled away.

Too cute right? But not bad cute, good cute.

Side note: They aren't in alphabetical order yet, don't judge me. I'm not finished, I need five more bottles and then we will be in order.

Side note number two: I'm counting this towards my list, #93 ladies and gentlemen!

and dyson does it again

So, Dyson in no way cares about my opinion but this is the coolest thing in the entire world.

It's a fan. A FAN people. The coolest fan I have ever seen. No blades, no cage, completely safe from danger, but puts out air like no ones business. We saw it at Bed Bath and Beyond last night and I drooled over it for a while (and I hate table fans). 

Now only if I could get Dyson to care about my opinion and give me a free fan, I'd be set.

hanging plates - fabulous

Lately, I have been drooling over plate groupings. There is something so classic and clean about it but with the right plates and shapes, you can make a plate hanging super modern too. A few years ago, we were shopping at Moynihan Gallery (one of my favorite stops in Holland, MI) and they had taken a large collection of flower shaped monochromatic plates in all sizes and hung them down a wall that was so impressive. So like I said, I've been drooling. 

  

Since we've decided we are going to repaint the dining room, I thought we'd update the artwork while we were at it. Can you take a wild guess what I'm going to hang over the buffet? I wanted to flat out copy the first photo but have had some serious trouble finding an octagonal platter (rectangle not square) that was large enough and wasn't going to cost us a hundred bucks. So I've adapted my plan a bit and will pick up my last few platters today or tomorrow. 

I'm also going to cover the existing curtains that are in the room. They're the perfect length and have the perfect amount of opacity. I'd have a lot of work to do to get my fabric to have the same look, so I'm just going to sew my fabric on top of the existing stuff. We're also in desperate need of a rug in that room, but hate paying for a rug big enough for our table, so I'm making one out of carpet tiles from work. Here's hoping I can make it work because I typically don't love the FLOR rug look.

kitchen update

We have kitchen cabinets. Better yet, we have fabulous looking kitchen cabinets!

We're much closer than we were at the beginning of the week but still have quite a few things to do to finish up! I'll keep you posted. Hopefully the next few weeks will include a lot more kitchen action than the previous weeks have!

color can be too tricky

There's a Sherwin Williams paint color that has been floating around our office the last few months that has been getting a lot of negative feedback from us.

It was requested by a client and when we pulled the swatch, we all had a bit of a gasp moment. As we looked at each other we all knew what we were thinking. The name that SW gave it is more than appropriate. It is color Butter Up (SW6681) and it really looks like a stick of butter. I mean really.

Well, everyone (on the project at least) had given their two cents about it and we were at an agreement. It looked like butter. It was YELLOW.

I ended up taking a bunch of paint swatches home last week for multiple (personal) projects and didn't even realize that one of the colors I had pulled out my box had been Butter Up. I grabbed it because it went with one of SW's new trend sets that I liked and wanted to see if I could make any of the colors work in my house. Once I got them home and started looking at them, I realized I had the Butter Up and immediately threw it into the "not using" pile. After flipping through the rest of the paints and deciding on some and debating others I thought I would see how far off the Butter Up was from the color we painted our bathroom two years ago. I thought, this will be a good way to see just how yellow this paint swatch really is.

Insert cringed face here.

I threw the swatch up on the wall and to my astonishment it was almost an exact match.

I love the yellow color of our bathroom. It's not too cheery but not too pastel/Easter egg either. It's nice, it works, I've always liked it. So why did I hate SW's color swatch so much?!

It's always amazing to me how much color changes when it's on paper vs. the wall. Or under fluorescents vs. incandescent. I spend a lot of time looking at color, it's part of my job. So I'm now admitting I was wrong. Butter Up is not the worst color in the entire world and when it's on the wall, it doesn't look like smeared butter. Happy Sherwin Williams?

It probably would have been a good idea to Google image Butter Up to see if people had shown it in their spaces. They have and here are a few of them:

found at timesunion

found at apartment therapy chicago edition

found at porter house designs

some people have random thought thursdays...my edition tends to always be on fridays

I have decided that I have a cream-of-wheat thief in my office. I keep a box of instant packets in my desk for mornings like this one where I have not eaten breakfast and think I'll die if I don't eat something before lunch. This morning I only had one packet left.

Never mind the fact that it is entirely possible I ate them all and just wasn't paying attention to how many I had gone through. And never mind the fact that I leave my iPod out on my desk almost every single day/night and it's never gone missing. Nope, don't think about those things. Just agree with me here, we have a thief.

I am so thankful it's Friday. This week has seemed to drag on forever and even today feels like it will never end. It's only 8:45 in the morning by the way. I suppose you can say that's a bad way to start a day.

Last night, Paul and I and about a dozen of my co-workers and their spouses went to an event for another co-worker's non-profit organization, Smile Colombia. It was the organization's first gala, they've only been up and running for about a year, and we had a lot of fun (as our photobooth photos show).

We're doing dinner tonight with some good friends at a new place in town called REPUBLIC. We're also hitting it up for lunch tomorrow with another good friend. From everything I've heard so far, it won't disappoint and it won't hurt to eat there twice just to make sure we like it as much as everyone else does.