We're choosing to be happy.

Today is the last day of the most interesting and emotional month of my/our life. Unfortunately for you, this will be a long post.

I know I've been sort of elusive this month (not only in lack of posting but in the posts themselves) but I suppose it's time to do what I do best. To own it (my story) and to write about it and to be proud of where I've come from, where I've gotten to and where I'm headed.

On the evening of March 1st, Paul and I found out we were expecting a baby. We were thrilled. Beyond thrilled actually. We couldn't thank God enough. Seriously. We prayed like every 20 minutes about it and were having the hardest time keeping it a secret. I couldn't write posts because ALL I wanted to write about was the fact that we were pregnant. It was hard but for the most part we kept it a secret. We'd told my parents and my brother and the dentist (she had to know...).

We spent the next two weeks making lists of all the things we needed to do to our house before the end of the year came. We needed to have the wood floors refinished, we needed to fix the ceiling in the office, we needed to do this and we needed to do that. We were exhausted just making the list but thrilled to have a reason to get it all done.

Paul and I became closer to each other and to God because of the pregnancy. We prayed all the time together and separately. I was thrilled at how much it was helping our spiritual lives.

We worked on the kitchen and the house feverishly before we left the country for a week. We were off for a little bit (or a lot) of reading by the pool, eating and sleeping. We left Oklahoma City on a very cold and snowy first day of Spring and headed to the Dominican Republic where we met Paul's parents and sister (his brother, our sister-in-law and our neice were to arrive the next day). We gave them the big news in an anniversary card and everyone was thrilled. We were feeling very blessed.

Three days later, we had a miscarriage.

We were heart broken. We cried, we prayed, we cried some more and then Paul found his mom and let her know what was going on. She got us set up with the medical center at our resort where they did a quick exam, put an IV in me and sent Paul and I in a private ambulance to the nearest hospital (about 20 minutes away). I was terrified, and so was Paul; however, when I was upset or visibly scared, Paul pretended not to be, he was in charge and calm and collected and I loved it. When he wasn't ok, I was the one that was calm and collected and all day long from the time we knew it happened until we were in the taxi on our way back to the resort we played the ying and yang game, and we rocked at it.

It was and is still sad but we weren't and aren't angry, confused or hysterical. We dont understand and we probably never will but it isn't necessary for us to understand. It's necessary for us to trust, and that, we are doing. Remember how I told you how awesome the pregnancy had made our spiritual lives? Well magnify that by 10 and that's what the rest of this month has done for it.

It was a terrifying day. In fact, I was so nervous about the health care and the procedure I was going to have to have that I made Paul help me determine if there was an integral oxygen system to the building. I was in a foreign country about to partake in a less than stellar quality of health care. I won't even tell you how big of a fit I had when I found out that I couldn't come home to have the surgery, that it had to be there. I begged but it wasn't going to happen. So, I had surgery in the Dominican Republic (and I lived to talk about it). Insert small chuckle here.

The day it happened all I could think about was how much I wished we had been at home, to be with my doctor, at my hospital, in my house. But the more we thought about it the more we realized our location may have been a blessing (in a few ways). I still would have preferred to have been in America for the procedure, there was nothing about the DR's hospital that I could consider a blessing. Sorry. But the things that were blessings included the fact that we had family with us. We have good friends in OKC and my brother is there but there was nothing better than having a set of parents and siblings there to be with us at the hotel when we got back. Second, we HAD to rest. For days after there was nothing we could do but sit, sleep and eat. If we had been in OKC, we would have cleaned the house or worked on the kitchen or gone back to work and being somewhere where we were forced to relax and reflect was so imperative for us. Another blessing, my doctor was also out of town and wouldn't have even been the doctor to see us if we had been at home. We were blessed in so many ways, we just had to make sure we looked for them.

We also got to spend the rest of our week celebrating a marriage that has lasted for 35 years and the good company of our siblings and niece.

We went to my doctor first thing Monday morning to get checked out and everything looked fine. No infections, no concerns. The doctors did everything they were supposed to and it looks like they did it well. Again, so blessed.

Our kitchen remodel has also made this month quite stressful. We've been eating horribly and last night I had a "what in the world were we thinking?!" episode as we were installing crown molding and cutting in with paint but today when I saw the cabinets being installed, I felt some major relief. Isn't that just the story of life, to get right in the middle of something and to freak out, only to be reassured later that it was all OK, whether it was the right thing or not?

It has been a month of highs and lows for us. But we're OK. We're actually more than OK. We have such a good thing going between the two of us (Paul and I that is) and I am so thankful to God for teaching us so many things in such a short period of time.

We've been trying really hard to follow that "Everything's awesome and nobody's happy" mantra and it's working really really well for us. We're choosing to be happy.

Ava is getting so big!

Oh, I am well aware of how precious she is. Look at that smile, how could she be any sweeter!?

Ava at 7 months in the Dominican playing with her Aunt Christa who could just eat her up!

Vacationing in the Dominican

We just spent 8 days in the Dominican Republic and I am now sporting some sun that will (keep your fingers crossed) turn into a tan.

The DR would not have been my first choice for a trip as Paul and I are not "sitters" and we do not like heat. But this trip was planned and coordinated by my in-laws to celebrate their 35th anniversary and we were thrilled to go with them. Where we stayed was beautiful and the towns we drove through to get there reminded me so much of Monterrey and Bonita Juarez, Mexico that it made my heart hurt a little. It was good for us to just sit. Because we don't typically do that, our vacations are never vacations. They are jammed pack with things to see and do and we are always exhausted. Not this time though. We sat and read, we swam, we slept, we ate and then we repeated every day.

Overall it was a good trip. Paul and I had a major life change occur while we were gone and I learned to love him more as my husband and friend than I have ever loved him before. More to come on this later, but there is still no doubt in my mind that I married the perfect person for me. We both grew and changed and brought home more love than we left with. I am so thankful for him and his family and need to remind myself everyday how blessed I am.

Check out our Flickr set for the rest of our photos from our trip!

List update: This adds to my #46!

Where we stand...

The demolition took place a few days before we left for vacation. We're back now and here is where we stand. Cabinets will be installed shortly, and counter, sink, faucet, etc to come soon too!

march 20th - the day of birth (figuratively and literally)

It's the first day of spring and it's a day for Willson-family births! Today is my dad's birthday (and it's my cousin Melissa's birthday too)! Never caught the connection of having a baby on the first day of Spring, when everything blooms and comes to life until I wrote my post title...cheesy, but I like it!

In honor of my dad's birthday, I am going to tell you what I've learned and gained from having him in my life.

a. how to mow the yard and use a weed eater
b. how to drive (exceptionally well, might I add)
c. my type A blood and type A personality
d. how to respect people's opinions even if I don't really agree with them
e. how to letter (architecturally)
f. my love of buildings, floorplans, sections and details
g. how to be the person I need to be, whether or not it's cool or popular
h. my ability to get through an airport like a champ
i. how to walk my talk
j. that you can make playing the trumpet pretty darn cool

Happy birthday daddy! Hope you have a great day!

organizational skills

So, to continue the post of "craziest month of my life".... I thought I'd share a little bit of my crazy side again.

One of my college friends is getting married on April 24th at Wiley Post Airport. For their grand departure, they are going to fly off into the sunset, or the night, depends on when we get done dancing and eating I suppose. I received invitations to both her regular (kitchen, bath, and house) shower and her personal shower. I knew I could attend the regular one but would be out of town for her personal shower and needed to RSVP with our other college friend who was throwing it for her.

Well I forgot to RSVP to tell her I wouldn’t be there. You know who I get that from? My mother. My mom taught me how to label boxes and put everything in a place. She taught me how to purge and how to organize my STUFF but what she didn’t teach me, because she is still AWFUL at it, is organizing life.

[Now mom, if you're reading, don't get upset and just stop to think about how long it has been since you checked your mail last. Been a few days? Maybe a week? Yea I thought so. And when was the last time you wrote something on your hand? This week...oh right.]

Like I said, my mom taught me how to organize stuff better than the best of them. She's a regular Martha Stewart when it comes to the label maker. But all of that "making sure you are where you are supposed to be and on time thing", she never really caught on to and neither did I.

So, Stacey (the one throwing the shower) very politely messaged me to see if I could come or not where I had to apologize for my lack of organization (I knew roughly where the invitation was laying and had no idea where Heidi was even registered) and apologized for not being able to attend. I told her I needed a personal assistant, a maid and a personal hairdresser to make sure I would show up to events and places that I am supposed to be at with clean clothes on and my hair at least washed. I wasn't kidding, unfortunately. I almost put at the bottom of my reply that I would for sure see her at Heidi's other shower but I didn't realizing I didn’t even remember when that shower was being held.

I got home last night and while working on removing items from the kitchen found the second shower invitation. It was last Thursday night. I missed it.

So now I am coordinating a present drop off. And I'm going to have to make sure I put it on my work calendar, write it on my hand and maybe have Paul send me a text message to remind me to meet up with Stacey. Pathetic.

If you need your pantry or mudroom organized though, I'm your gal.

did you know months could have personalized tag lines?

I hate to start posts with "sorry for my lack of posting" but I mean it. I really am sorry. I want to write, it's just been the most insane month of my life. That should be the tag line for the remainder of the month.
March 2010 - Christa's most insane month EVER.

So, so, so, so much is going on with us! I started a new project at work. Since I have started here, I have only been on the one project (since I graduated college!) and starting something new was not only terrifying but overwhelming. I took over this project for a co-worker who is now out on maternity leave so it was a bit stressful getting all the necessary information exchanged prior to her leaving. But I think I've got a grasp on it and now I am just charging ahead trying to keep my head above water for the next four deadlines (all falling before the middle of April of course).

We also had a hiccup with our kitchen remodel. Everyone told me we would...and I just rolled my eyes thinking..."I know, I know" but I didn't quite expect it to be something so irritating. We ordered our kitchen cabinets on the 27th of January and expected them to arrive 4-5 weeks later. The latest they should have been here was March 3rd and should have been installing shortly after. Well some miscommunication occurred on our procurer's part and the cabinets did not get confirmed with the company. We had to reorder them - the week of March 3rd - which means they won't be here until we get back from our trip. Our cabinet lady was really great and apologized and offered us free demo for the remainder of our existing cabinets.
I quickly took her up on that deal since I knew it would take Paul and I several hours to complete and with our trip falling in the middle of everything, finding time was going to be out of the question. So three men showed up at my house this morning at 7:30 am to start demolition. At 7:50 they were in their truck and leaving my house. Demo complete. We now have some cleanup to complete and tons of other little items before we leave so that the kitchen is prepped and ready for new cabinets when we return! Until then, we will be eating Lean Cuisines and cereal out of plastic bowls with plastic utensils.

We've also decided to paint our dining room, put new window coverings in the office and have our wood floors refinished. We've still got a long way to go.

and the countdown to international trip numero dos starts....now.

I hate it when this happens...

I had a great weekend hanging out with my husband and my parents. Went to bed (unfortunately late) but woke up feeling crabby. Why is it that I can have a great weekend and then my morning start off so poorly?

Everything at the office is driving me crazy today and nothing has really even happened. I hate being irritable.

So, let's get to a happy place shall we? I am going to be laying on a beach in twelve days! I've never been much of a warm weather vacation spot kind of chick since I grew up in Tejas where it was hot all the time. Hanging out in more heat did not sound appealing at all. Maybe the only reason it sounds so appealing right now is because of the up and down weather we've been having here. I can't wait to throw on my shorts and flip flops and do NOTHING for hours at a time and not be concerned that a cold front is going to swoop in at any moment and that ice will debilitate the area. Nope, just lots and lots of sun.

There...feel better? No? My going on vacation doesn't make you feel better? Oh...sorry.