ashes, elephant skin, gray, silver, etc.

Right now, I am in love with the color gray (or grey if you prefer). My father would proceed to tell you that it isn't really a color (like brown) and I would have to balk at his crayola color prejudices.

Lately, I have been buying and obsessing over everything gray.

Before Christmas I bought a great gray cardigan from New York and Company with these flowers and glitzy buttons and that's when I think my obsession started.

Since then I have picked my swimsuit for the year:

And the bracelet I want to buy to go with it:

I painted our kitchen today...and could you guess the color?! That's right, gray. Ashes from Behr at Home Depot and it looks so great. I can't wait to show you pictures of the actual kitchen but am waiting for a more completed reveal.

One of my co-workers had on a nail polish called Commander In Chic by Sally Hansen that I plan to go buy tomorrow. It was a really great color!

I seem to go in phases for colors but right now, gray is it.

we do not lose heart

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed....we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.     1 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-17

It's amazing to me how you can hear a verse over and over again and it mean nothing more than it did the last time you heard it but out of the blue, you hear it again and it is life altering.

For our LIGHT and MOMENTARY troubles are achieving for us an ETERNAL GLORY that far outweighs them all?! Isn't that fabulous?

Busy day at church, working on the kitchen and having dinner with friends. Busy week ahead with a couple of struggles expected so I'll be visiting that verse regularly. 

kitchen update: day one, task one

Last night Paul and I decided since we had no plans for the weekend other than church we were going to start the kitchen.

First up? The ceiling. So that's what we did today. Well half of it.

Want to know why old houses are still standing? Because they were made out of plaster. PLASTER people.

Before we got started Paul thought since we had so many cracks in our ceilings that it would all come off in pretty big pieces. After taking five whacks at the plaster we knew that wasn't going to be the case and estimated six hours of plaster removal. Both of us knew that sounded awful but it had to be done and so we got after it. Paul removed about 75% of the plaster (I put in my 25%) and let me tell you what...getting 95 year old plaster off of a 9'-6" ceiling is a pain. We actually finished an hour before we had planned to but were both exhausted and looked like we had come through a chimney. I also didn't think about the fact that the amount of plaster on the ceiling was basically going to be the same amount on the floor. There was a lot of plaster on the floor. Oh - and the dust! Don't get me started on the dust. My whole home needs a bath.

So there is no plaster on the ceiling in our kitchen any longer. The house is filthy. And we're both tired.

We went and purchased the bead board we are going to install on top of the lathe and a new toy to install it with this evening after eating dinner at Ted's. Hopefully we both sleep well tonight because tomorrow after church we are putting the board up. Then paint and light fixtures and we can mark our biggest, most labor intensive task (for us) off of the list!

Photos to come later. 

a wall full of books?! yes please.

So I am late to the bookcase party, when it comes to posting like I mentioned previously, but here are the shots I found a few days ago. There is just something about a full wall of shelving filled with books and photos that makes my heart melt.

About a year ago, Paul and I were at an estate sale a few blocks away from our house. They had an extra "living" space off of the front living room that had an entire wall of built-in white book shelves framing a double door that led out onto a deck on the side of the house. The room was completely empty and in a matter of moments I had (in my head) the shelves filled, the room wallpapered and furniture planned. The built-in cases surrounding our fireplace have been filled since the day we moved in but what I wouldnt give for another wall of them.

unbelievable

via Canadian House and Home

kitchen art

Ok, ok I am learning my lesson. As soon as I have an idea for a post, I need to follow through. Either I forget about it or someone else beats me to it. Last week I had a spare hour and found tons of photos of great bookcases filled with books. I was going to write an entire post about them but never did. I still planned to, that was until Urban Grace beat me to it. I'll post some of the ones she didn't post later but until then I'm going to talk about my kitchen again.

We changed our minds. Mainly because our wallet said to. We're going with dark espresso cabinets and shelves instead of white (and that's the only change). The millwork contractor can get me the dark cabinets for almost $800 dollars cheaper than the white ones. Can't argue with that! Big changes are coming!

I am having some trouble finding artwork for a blank wall however. I want something unique. Something no one else has. I want something that makes the whole space perfect. See the pressure I have put on myself? How in the world am I supposed to find something now?! This is the top runner right now:

This is an advertisement from the US Food Administration in 1914 pushing for conservation during the war. The house was built in 1914 and therefore it is very fitting in regards to time. We are also striving to follow all those rules so it would be good to have it in our face everyday.

I also love this wallpaper from Anthropologie. I do not however want to pay $620.00 for it especially since I would probably only use the fork or the spoon and I wouldn't even install it as intended. Maybe I can create something close to it on a canvas.

Decisions, decisions. I also like the subway sign type styled art.

The only issue with the subway art is that it is starting to get popular. Do I go with it anyways? We've also talked about framing some of the Eames House of Cards pieces we just got from Paul's grandmother. They're the medium sized cards - never been opened (until I got my hands on them of course). It would be unique to say the least...

more than surviving - in case you were wondering

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - CS Lewis

Over the last few days I have been so blessed to have so many friends call, email and text me just to check-in and see if I was feeling better. I know that I have lots of friends (here and out of town) but was overwhelmed by their concern and their lunch dates and plans. And since I am surviving, I am finding them quite valuable. Yes, quite.

I also received some awesome flowers at work yesterday from my in-laws as a "thank you" for sending Paul to help take care of his dad after his surgery. I am also feeling blessed to be a part of their family. It's always good to still feel that way a few years after marriage, right?!

I am also keeping up with my exercise plan. Today was a bit miserable because I got shin splints for the first time in my life. Talk about an awful feeling. But I am going to stick with it and make it work. Plus we only have 58 some odd days until we go to the Dominican and would like to be in a new swim suit by that time.

dealing with all of it - the good and the bad

It has been a day of ups and downs here in my little home. Self awareness and discovery today have taken me from crying in the shower to rejoicing to God while I was running in my neighborhood (also with some tears).

If there is one thing that I seem to be consistent at - it is owning my life. I'm not much for regrets knowing that everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am today and will make me who I am tomorrow. How can you be regretful of things that shape you, even the bad things, when you have a good life?

I tend to forget, often, that I have a good life. I forgot last night and this morning that I have good life.

I was an emotional ball of stress last night and after talking to Paul and a good friend on the phone, I took some Nyquil and went to bed. I slept hard and it was fantastic. But sleeping hard (and with the help of medication) does not make you any less of an emotional basket case sometimes. I woke up just as big of a mess as I was when I went to bed. Almost worse.

I cried a little. I watched some TV and then I cried some more. I talked to Paul who was busy preparing for an important presentation at his alma mater and I knew I was being an emotional drain on him. He was nervous and finishing his preparations and all I could talk about was how I wanted him to come home because I needed a hug. I wished him luck and cried alone some more.

I finally had enough and called my mom. I love my mom and I love talking to her but I always try so hard to be better than I am for her. I don't know why, because she always takes me just as I am and helps me to see things more clearly. I have an amazing mother. We talked for awhile, she gave me some advice and I felt some relief.

Her first piece of advice? Exercise. SICK. I have never in my life felt good after working out. That whole endorphin thing has never worked for me. I just get pissed off when I work out and it makes me hate the whole idea of getting healthy through physical activity. I've always had good intentions with running and sports but after a few bad sessions, I am hateful enough towards it to stop. But today, after I hung up the phone, I grabbed my tennis shoes and my music and went for a run. It was unbelievable how good I felt. I couldn't think about any one thing for more than a few minutes and I remembered why running track in high school worked for me so well. The ability to stop thinking about any one thing and to not be able to focus can be such a relief sometimes. It was today while I was running (and the endorphins were doing what they were supposed to do) that I decided I am good at owning who I am, what I've done and where I want to go.

A big struggle for me right now? I have PCOS. When my doctor and I discovered that I had this, she immediately started me on some medication, talked to me about life changes and what future effects I could expect from having the PCOS. I got online the night we found out I had it and spent hours researching what it meant for me. One of the biggest things people deal with when they have PCOS is depression (brought on by the stress of the symptoms). I knew the symptoms I was having and the others I was reading about sucked but they were not a big enough deal for me to get depressed over. I wasn't depressed and didn't plan to be. But here we are, I'm a bit depressed. So, I have PCOS and I've decided that dealing with it right now sucks.

I also feel like Satan is trying so hard (more than ever) to drag me down in so many areas of my life. He knows I'm struggling and is tempting me and confusing me in ways I've never dealt with before. He's fighting my faith, my marriage, and my career. I'm 24 years old and feel like I need to have a mid-life crisis.

Back to my run for a moment. It was the most beautiful day to go outside for a run and in my neighborhood, it was just exemplified. I'm a bit biased here but I live in the best neighborhood in Oklahoma City hands down. I have a fabulous life. This was the part of the run where I was reminded of how good I have it.

I plan now to turn off the TV and go outside and read in the sunshine for a bit. I need to stop with the reflection of what I am dealing with and reflect on what I'm not dealing with.

exploding success

So remember my talk about shopping local?

Friday, a few of my co-workers and I decided to go to Perri's pizza in Cassady Square for lunch and while waiting to pay for my very delicious authentic New York pizza I saw this laying on the counter:

And I got way excited about it. NW Style is Northwest Oklahoma City's magazine. The publisher does multiple local magazines (like Downtown, Edmond Living, Norman Living, etc) but I was thrilled to see the 3/50 Project on the cover! Talk about my wish for it's continued growth and success in Oklahoma coming true!

I then talked everyone's ear off at my table about what the project was and did and showed just how dorky (and somewhat elitist) I can be about certain things.

confessions of a lonely bored wife

Things I have noticed since Paul has been gone on his trip:

I do not like sleeping alone anymore. While I would jump up and down with joy for a bigger bed (because I hate sleeping so close) I would need to make sure he was in that bigger bed somewhere. It's a strange feeling to end and start every day alone when you typically do it with someone else.

As good as quiet down time is for me - it's boring. Paul and I can sit on the couch and watch TV and not talk to each other for a bit but that feels better than sitting on the couch alone watching TV not talking to anyone.

I'm also super jealous of this trip he took. I miss our friends and our family more than I realized. When we booked the ticket for him and got everything coordinated I wasn't too worried about not going. But once I heard Jon on the other end of the phone last night and everyone kept telling me how excited they were for his surprise visit, I felt sad that I was missing their company.

Can you tell how much I want to be in Holland right now?!

period light fixtures

I am in love with Rejuvenation. Like real love, this is no infatuation here.

I found them while flipping through an issue of This Old House almost a year ago and immediately hoped online to view their products. Since then, I have been obsessed with their products and their company. There are very few lighting companies that produce quality, "vintage" fixtures that are still somewhat affordable.

I purchased the Rhone and Jefferson fixtures for our kitchen in black enamel with the classic schoolhouse opal shade at the end of December and received both of them this week. I was thrilled when they got to the house but fell a little bit more in love when I saw this:

I know their website says "handcrafted" and "finished by hand" but I mean, really? How often does that really happen? Well, both of my light fixtures came with their little tags and the signatures of the guys that made them and my heart just melted. I put the fixtures back into their boxes, all wrapped up in their bubble wrap to keep them safe until we're ready to put them up. It was a bit defeating to have to package them back up.

These light fixtures are two of the five things I plan to pay full price for (no designer discount on these), that is how much I love them.

If you are in the market for period fixtures or hardware check them out. Schoolhouse Electric also has great stuff. I am more drawn to them (Schoolhouse) graphically than I am Rejuvenation but when purchasing online, I felt way less confident about ordering custom light fixtures. I couldn't see everything together where as with Rejuvenation, I could create my fixture on the screen and guarantee it was exactly what I wanted (all in one screen, no tabbing either).

cider, junk shopping and friends = a good weekend

This weekend I learned that I love hot apple cider. I also learned that when I get out of my television room and spend time with friends, I have a better quality of life.

Weekends over the past year have become (for the most part) catch up days. We were always trying to recoup from the previous week and rest up for the next all while cramming in some cleaning and church. But this past weekend, we had tons of cleaning to do for some guests (most of which did not get done) and various parties and events to attend.

We spent Friday evening with some of my co-workers at DNA Galleries checking out the artwork of one of their husbands, Nic. His art should be up there for awhile, you should run by and check it out. While you are there pick up their new awesome screen printed Oklahoma t-shirts. And for good measure, you can always stop in at Collected Thread and drop some cash on local art and clothes. We also stopped by Cafe Evoke (which is a must for my husband) and chatted up some of his "free coffee Monday friends".

Saturday was spent running errands for our kitchen re-model, grocery shopping, a good long nap and bowling with 24 of our friends in Edmond as a goodbye party for friends. Chris & Lacie are moving to Texas since Chris was offered a job in Dallas and Chesapeake graciously allowed Lacie to transfer to their Ft. Worth office. We're really going to miss them as they're one of the last few "childless" couples in our church class that we hang out with (not that couples with children are any less our friends...just get what I'm saying here). Our number is dwindling quickly so the more we move off or start having kids, the ovaries of every other childless girl in our class start to shriek. Ok, enough about that.

We went to Starbucks afterwards with about half of the group and spent the night laughing about "sexting" and various other things that were probably inappropriate. I failed to take my camera to Nic's show, bowling or Starbucks (which is awful of me, I know, I know) so the only photos I have are from other people's cameras and iPhones. I'll get better about the camera, I promise.

Sunday we had church, which seems to be a struggle for me to attend lately. I'm lazy. LAZY. Did you see that? All capital letters which just goes to show how lazy I really am. I would rather sleep than get dressed up to drive 20 minutes north for church. That's what I've been telling myself lately on Sunday mornings as I lay in bed until the last possible moment. But then I get up, get showered and dressed and by the time I am walking out the front door, I'm excited. I love church. I love our class and our friends and singing and worshiping. Our preacher gave a sermon about fellowshipping (among other things) and how it is good for us and our relationship with God and it gave me time to reflect on the things we had done over the weekend and how good I felt about our life here in Oklahoma City.

We ended the weekend with dinner at Panda Express (which made the weigh-in this morning a bit of a bear) with the Klutts and the Frasers in Edmond where I got to talk my head off about my kitchen and my love-hate relationship with IKEA.

So, I love our friends.

And the hot apple cider? I had two cups of it at my favorite antique shop while looking for something unique to hang on a blank wall in our kitchen and was reminded of how delicious it was. I also had three of these this weekend (everywhere we went). I think I might be hooked.