happiness and envious moments

I've been through phases my whole life where I don't have everything that everyone else has and my life just isn't as good as everyone else's. I've always wanted something in order to make my life right or perfect and happy.

The last couple of months (for the most part) I have been learning to love and enjoy what I have right now. There is a song that came out a few months ago that talks about learning to enjoy where you are at in your life right at that moment because one day you are going to look back and miss that moment. I am going to miss this house that is falling apart and our quiet time with just the two of us. One day we'll be in another house with kids and I am going to think about the beginning of our life together and am going to miss it. I need to enjoy it right now. 

So after saying all that....let me indulge in a little life envy for a couple of moments. The blog world has been bad for me in this area because I get to see into so many people's lives and homes and have been getting a little envious. Couples are renovating their little old homes and making them look fabulous. And other people are spending their days at home while I am working away in my office (which I still like...but who doesn't like being at home?). The house work has been my biggest struggle. We have a charming old home and when we have people over they are always telling me about how much they love it but it is in no way "designed". It is so hodge podge and not in the "Anthropologie" way that I would love for it to be in. Our kitchen really needs to be done, and I have everything I want to do to it and the only excuse for it not being done yet is purely financial. It has nothing to do with being lazy or just not getting to it but we can't afford it right now. The trim on the house needs to be painted a different color - but it keeps raining and it's getting colder and I am so jealous of all these people who have their crap together with their homes. I have already told a couple of people that I will use them - not a request but more of an order - especially with my brother.

OK - envy moment over. Back to enjoying our life right here, right now.