a typical conversation with my mother

Last night I spent half an hour on the phone with my mom:

Mom:    So I took this woman shopping for an outfit to wear at her daughter's wedding. She wanted to go to the Sonshine House to find something (a free clothing place sponsered by the local churches) but that would be a lot of work to find her something so I told her I'd take her to the thrift store and get her an outfit. So I took her to the thrift store and got her a couple of outfits and got myself some outfits.

Me:       Mommmm....

Mom:    I know! But I found this really cute dress. It was so cute I wore it back to the office. I literally bought it, changed in the dressing room and went back to work. Nancy laughed and said, "Seriously, Connie!? It is really cute though."

Me:      Well I don't blame her. You took another woman shopping at a thrift store and then came back in a different outfit.

Mom:   Well later John came in the room and sort of looked surprised and said, "You weren't wearing that this morning were you?!" Which is funny because the dress isn't really normal for me. You know it's tie-dyed and all.

Me:       I'm sorry, did you say tie-dyed?'

Mom:    Yea, and it's a short (did my mom buy a tie-dyed romper?!)...a mini-skirt (please tell me you did not just say mini-skirt), well it's not a mini-skirt, it's just a shorter dress. Like to my knees (oh heavens mom, a dress to your knees is not a mini anything). AND, it's belted!

Me:       This just keeps getting worse.

Mom:    No! It's way cute! I'll send you a picture.

Me:       Well you probably should. The image I have in my head does not sound cute.

Mom:    And what's better is it matches my suede purple heels that I got at the St. Paul Thrift Store.

Me:       Stop.

This is what I was invisioning and please tell me you would not tell your mother to stop talking too if this is what you thought she bought at a thrift store to wear to work and church. Turns out, she did send me a photo, and the dress looks nothing like this. Thank heavens. It's more of a tribal print dress, not tie-dyed. Again, thank heavens.